In Canada hockey trumps election debates!

The debate battle has already been won. Canadians have spoken. Given a choice of hockey or talking politicians, in the decisive face-off battle, hockey fans scored a lopped sided victory over the election.
Canadians take hockey seriously, and when the Bloc realized that their leader was going up against “Les Canadiens” led by Brian Gionta in a battle against an original six rival Bruins, Gilles Duceppe petitioned the three other leaders in the French debate to agree to a change in date.
The networks which were hosting the French debate, realizing their scheduling faupaux, almost instantly found time one day earlier than originally scheduled. A new “Miracle on Ice” show may be in the making. Only in Canada would a sporting event take precedence over a political debate.
Canadians and television networks might be fascinated by the political nation building in Egypt and Tunisia, but when it comes home, they really couldn’t care less. Hockey triumphs.
Instead of debating, we should invite all the parties to raise a five-member team for a shinny contest and call it the “Battle for the Eyes”. Even the “Green Party” would ice a team. I would expect Ignatieff to name Ken Dryden the Liberal Party team captain.
Stephen Harper would probably make college player Jim Flaherty the captain of the Conservatives.
Jack Layton would ice his team and probably insist that the New Democrats would be peacekeepers and would want no physical contact.
The only eligible players would have to be nominated members running in this election. Ringers would not be permitted. Gilles Duceppe’s team would be at a disadvantage since that party could only pick from 75 potential players. The other parties, each could potentially pick from 308 potential players.
The “Battle for the Eyes” would begin as a five team round robin contest and the two teams with the best record would face off in the championship. Each game would last 20 minutes and consist of two periods to allow the blow hards time to catch their breath.
In the event of a tie at the end of the round robin, the two teams would go into a “Shout Out”, a form of entertainment taken from question period. Each team would be lined up at both ends of the hockey rink. Working through both teams, the member of the team with the loudest roar measured digitally in the rink would win to break the tie.
The round robin play would take place over 5 consecutive nights. The finals would occur following the B final of the 3rd and 4th place team.
Because the possibility of a minority being created, each of the final two teams could invite a single player from the other three teams to join their team for the final.
The winner of the “Battle for the Eyes” would be named as Canada’s team.
The real winners would be Canadian voters. They could truly watch their politicians in action in an arena that really counted. And the only lies that will be told to Canadians will be able to be verified by watching the game footage. Canadian politics would finally make it into the real world that matters to the Canadian electorate.
–Jim Cumming,
Publisher