The Adrenalin Rush

By Jack Elliott
Contributor

In this age of the uber-sensation it seems it is harder and harder to get folks really excited. You know, generate enough stimulus to provoke a real adrenalin rush. Of course if you have a dickey ticker maybe that’s just as well.Moose and Pickle wandered into the Bakery in Rainy the other day their nerves so jangled and their hands so shaky they could barely manage to hold a coffee cup. They had obviously just experienced a real adrenalin rush.
“What’s up with you two? Wood splitter blow up? Wives on the warpath? Find some loose change on the sidewalk?” I quizzed as I rattled my cup wishfully for a refill. Bugs obliged as both Pickle and Moose were obviously too shaken.
“A little extermination project went awry,” offered Pickle as he steadied his cup for a jolt of caffeine.
“It was all going well until Moose chickened out and ran off to find his mommy,” he added as he slathered peanut butter and jam onto his just arrived order of toast.
“What? Skunks? Chipmunks? Snakes? Bats?” I listed off possible disasters as Pickle shook his head and continued to chew while Moose just stared at the floor, obviously still too shaken to tuck into his toast.
“Waspthhhs! A big nest of them in my hedge right nexttthhh to my door,” Pickle managed to get out around the peanut butter as he smacked his lips.
“I taped a fusee on the end of a long stick and stuck it in under the nest to torch ‘em good and Moose was supposed to stand by with the water hose to keep the hedge from burning. That cedar has some pretty dry junk in it,” he explained as he licked at the last of his crumbs.
“A couple of the forward guard wasps made a pass at Moose and instead of standing his ground and taking them out with the hose, he dropped it and took off for the hospital screaming. ‘I’m ‘lergic! I’m ‘lergic’!” scoffed Pickle, unimpressed with his backup support.
“Well I am allergic!” muttered Moose as he buried his nose in his cup and tenderly massaged the bruise on his forehead.
“Yeah, right! Then you hit those automatic doors at full tilt and knocked yourself silly when you bumped your head. I don’t see a single sting on you. They stop chasing you when you were lying motionless on the ground?” offered Pickle as in an uncommon gesture of courtesy he retrieved the coffee pot and made the refill rounds.
“What about the wasp nest? Did you wipe ‘em out?” I inquired making a mental note to avoid the walk in front of Pickle’s.
“Oh yeah. Got it complete, but also torched twenty feet of hedge and scorched the siding on the house in spite of my AWOL fire guardian.” summarized Pickle the adrenalin rush now pretty much dissipated.
“Way too much excitement,” stated Moose. “I think I’ll go home and have a nap.”