The grim truth!

By Jack Elliott
Contributor

So many things we are taught are eventually proven to be false. The latest is boogers. My granddaughter at a tender age was suffering from the dreaded cold and associated plugged nostrils. That Sunday morning in church she was busy with her fingers dealing with the issue. Her grandmother scolded her not to do that in church. With all the wisdom and rational of a three year old she asked the confirming question, “Only at home?”
Turns out her conclusion on the procedure, if not the manners might have been right. That old kid’s rhyme ‘Everyone’s doing it. Picking their nose and chewing it.’ may have more than a little validity according to a CBC report out of the University of Saskatoon.
The hypothesis is the mucous in your nose traps pathogens and allergens and eating the boogers may introduce enough to your body to challenge your immune system and increase your resistance to these environmental realities. Besides the researcher reported that snot is kind of sweet and most small children spend a good deal of their time with their fingers up their nose harvesting then consuming the rewards, so the procedure may have been a positive evolutionary event according to biochemistry Professor Scott Napper .
Filthy you say, but think we evolved in a dirty world and it’s only been part of the last century we got into the frequent showering and clean freaking. Look at the results. - a veritable flood of allergies and other ‘clean’ related diseases.
So let’s kick the habit. First ladies- you know who you are- let’s discard those overpowering perfumes. They are so strong when you come into the Bakery, Val starts wheezing, coughing, and approaches anaphylactic shock. At the debating table we are going to start all carrying epi-pens for emergency treatment. After all if she keels over who will pour the coffee? Please let’s keep that overpowering perfume restricted to the flowers outdoors. . I’m serious, it’s a health issue.
Now Stinkii Bootela on the other hand needs something, but perfume wouldn’t help. Perhaps with the current thaw you might fall through the ice for your semi-annual bath. Perhaps you could start carrying a bar or two of lye soap in your pockets so you are prepared for that contingency.
Back to the boogers. Let’s not waste them. Nutritious, satisfying, and healthful. Dig in and quit complaining when someone sneezes on your food. We’ll all be the stronger for it.