Dealing with conflict and stress

Bob McGreevy
RRHS Principal

Conflict and stress are a natural part of the human condition. As parents and educators, we have a responsibility to teach our children and students how to deal with these emotions in a positive way. Within the school environment, conflict between adults and students, and conflict between students develops for a variety of reasons. If staff and students have developed the tools to deal with conflict at the lowest level, we can avoid having a seemingly minor issue develop into a major dispute that might eventually lead to physical violence.
On Monday, April 25th, a group of staff members from Rainy River High School, Riverview, McCrosson-Tovell, Sturgeon Creek, Our Lady of the Way, and Pegamigaabo School were involved in a workshop on Conflict Management and Peer Mediation. The workshop was the first in a series designed to help staff and students develop programs within each of their schools.
The workshop was presented by Spencer Clements and Gary Sova, from New Directions in Discipline from Winnipeg. Staff was introduced to some of the underlying characteristics of conflict. Conflict:
* is inevitable;
* exists because people do not perceive or think in the same way all of the time;
* occurs when one or both people perceive their differences are in opposition;
* leads to feelings of: stress, tension, frustration, confusion, and anger;
People are frequently in conflict over resources, perceptions, or values. Conflicts over resources are easier to resolve that conflicts over perceptions and values. The most difficult issues to resolve are conflicts over values.
It was made clear to participants that not all conflict and not all differences are resolvable. When differences are not resolvable our challenge is to help students understand that we can agree to disagree with understanding rather than resentment, revenge, and retaliation. Conflict management is the shift from judgement to curiosity.
Mediation is a problem-solving strategy used for resolving conflict between two (or more) people. A neutral party, the mediator, guides the people with the problem, the disputants, through a step-by-step process. While the process may change depending on the age of the people being mediated, each process is based on the same framework:
1. An introduction and agreement to ground rules;
2. a “story-telling” section where each person tells what happened;
3. a discussion of solutions to the problem;
4. ways to avoid future conflicts;
5. concluding remarks to reinforce the mediation;
6. a summary and written agreement form.
Following Monday’s workshop, staff from each participating school will go through a process in their own school to identify students who would make good mediators. In early June, a second training workshop will be held that will involve the presenters, staff, and their identified student mediator trainees. At that workshop, students will be training in mediation and conflict management skills. These students and their supporting staff members will then return to their schools and begin to use their conflict management and peer mediation skills to help their peers to resolve their differences in a positive and non-judgmental way.