Fashion sense, or good sense?

By Jack Elliott
Contributor

Fashion sense or good sense
That new gigantic purse your spouse has just acquired looks like a real fashion statement. But is it really? The added capacity could be for anything from brining along a supply of depends for hubby, harvesting snacks at the buffet for tomorrow’s dinner or for the dog- or in fact to carry the dog itself. Amongst seniors, the vicious little mutts are getting smaller and smaller and ever more popular.
And clothes! The poofy shirt can disguise an expanding waistline or perhaps a bulging hernia you just haven’t gotten around to getting fixed.
At dinner the other evening the hostess remarked on John’s new hair style.
“John are you having a mid life crisis, taking on the Elvis look,” quizzed Connie commenting on the long flowing locks he was developing.
“Mid life crisis! Are you crazy? I’m 81. If anything it’s a one foot in the grave and the other on a slippery slope,” snorted John as he tipped back his wine glass.
“I had skin cancer and knew I needed an operation, but I told the Doc I didn’t want to come out blind,” he explained holding his glass out for a refill.
“Blind! Goodness! I didn’t realize you had vision problems,” gasped Connie her voice oozing empathy.
“No ! No! It was my ear that cancer was eating away at and the Doc wanted to whack the whole thing off. I told him if he did that my glasses would fall off and I would be blind,” said John whisking back his hair to reveal a hole about the size of a nickel in his right ear lobe.
“I let the hair grow to cover it up. Keeps the gawkers at bay,” he added brushing the hair back over the ear.
“Besides the longer hair keeps my ears warmer when the wind blows,” he concluded with a good laugh.
Across the table Joe looked at him and chuckled, “But when the wind blows across the left lobe does it whistle?”
John shot back, “Not really but I can now write off my hair styling as a medical expense.”