Not happy with way province is treating us

Dear Editor:
In view of Minister Duncan’s recent and well publicized comment we should take the view that, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade,” and suggest the following as a solution to the job loses in Northwestern Ontario and the closing of the Atikokan Generating Station.
Now that the Province has discovered the existence of a pocket of Neanderthals it should, with its vast resources, approach Walt Disney Productions and entice them to establish a theme park in Northwestern Ontario based in Atikokan. The name of the park of course would be “Neanderthal World’. It would cover all of this part of Ontario right up to the border of Nunavut. To the delight of minister Duncan and others the park would be so authentic in nature that it would need absolutely no electricity.
They could create a whole new territory or province called Sumuvit (Some-of-it) to hold the park. With all the moose and moose droppings in the area minister Duncan could walk along the border and at times step in Nunavut while at others stepping in Sumuvit, and the Premier and Minister Duncan could take full credit for creating Sumuvit.
This would leave a far better and greater legacy than closing coal fired generating plants.

It would also solve a problem for the Canadian mint. The loonie was to have ten sides, one for each province. Somehow the loonie ended up with eleven sides so there is a spare side for Sumuvit.
Think of the promotional possibilities: The Atikokan River could be renamed the Neanderthal River, Thunder Bay becomes Neanderthal Bay, Lake Superior could become Lake Neanderthal complete with a Neanderthal monster sleeping in the Bay of Thunder that awakens on Neanderthal Day in February (A new statutory holiday only for Neanderthals, sorry Minister Duncan), Jeff Foxworthy could start a whole new career with, “You know you’re a Neanderthal if...”, we could use the opening of the theme park to set a record for the greatest member of Neanderthals on the top of a rock (We’ll ring wise men from the east to count for us) and the whole region could adopt Neanderthal Bay’s adapted theme “Neanderthal by ˜Nature”, just to name a few ideas.
Of course Neanderthals would be protected species to prevent governments from rendering them extinct.
–Sincerely
Charlie Viddal
Atikokan